Shel McNamara/BeCalm Business Coaching
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right doesn't equal easy

11/14/2013

10 Comments

 
It's been a looking back kind of day.  Just like any other day I have off, I am still up at 4:30 a.m. thinking, list making, reading the news, drinking my coffee and beginning my start to attempting to be as productive at my "home" work as I am at my "paying" job. 

I'm not the biggest fan of consistency, but I do have some structures in my routine that I just can't seem to let go of. One of them, up early always no matter what's going on or how I am feeling. Sleep to me has always felt like a waste of time.   And so that feeling is etched deep into my life, and like clock work, at 4:30 I'm up, and beginning my day.

Today though I awoke with a lack of enthusiasm. Just not wanting to start my day, I would have preferred a bit more sleep or maybe it was just not wanting to sit down and write this or the other letter I needed to write today.  Either way....I lolligagged my way out of bed, straggled to the kitchen, bumped into the counter, grasped for the pull light in the kitchen, missed my coffee cup and blindly wandered down the hall to my cozy make-shift office/art studio.  I kerplunked my butt down into my comfy office chair, wrapped myself up in my afghan and starred at my monitor like it was an evil, possessed enemy.  Thinking to myself, it's only 5 a.m. and my shoulders are already slumped, this could possibly be the longest day of my life.  No that would be giving birth to my two grown gals. Neither one of them wanted to co-operate and labor was 2 full days.  So I would say that ranked up there as the longest, but this certainly was going to be agonizing, no matter how much coffee I pumped into my blood stream!

As I have been killing my brain slowly over the last few days of what I am going to write about, working on my niche, continuing with Coaching lessons, and all of the other general life ramblings, it occurred to me how friggen much older I feel than most of the people who signed up for LYL Creator's Guild Blog Challenge.  Not only was I feeling old, I was feeling this OMG sense of how I totally can not relate to what most of these amazing folks write about, how they see life, the impacts they are astoundingly building within their own communities and the general amazing energy that most of them radiate. It literally was blowing me out of the water, and causing me some serious concern as to what the hell I am doing even entering a blog challenge, that is mostly connecting with folks that are barely 30 something. 

So in an attempt to put off this blog entry, I sat down to write a really challenging letter to my district manager, concerning the behavior of my manager.  The lesser of two fears.  Don't get me wrong.  I fear both of these things.  Writing this blog, and equally writing my letter of concern.  Why did the letter win over my blog posting?  Because all though it has the potential to put me in a daily difficult spot with my own manager, his unacceptable management skills towards my hard working, honest co-workers can not continue or be tolerated any longer. And that took presidency over all else. It also is one of my reasons for deciding to take Coaching training.  All my life I have stood up for the under-dog.  The person whom never had any support, so they just go about life doing what they were shown from their parents before them. They simply do not realize that their is so much more to life, than working for someone else and having your dreams depend on how many 60 hour work weeks you can manage before you have a heart attack.

One of the things I have been struggling with while taking Coach Training Courses is that it is often implied that the "Best or Most" coach-able folks are ones who are Professional, Educated, Money in the bank,  Super-Women, who just need some guidance and some support to change their lives and become even more than Super-women.  From the very bottom of my heart, I could give two poops less about Super-women going through a mid-life change and wanting to some how change her already dynamic career.  I know it sounds kinda harsh.  But it is what it is. So how do you go about Coaching the "UNCOACH~ABLES"? 

Lights just went off, one of the gifts of writing!!! I love using that term, the UNCOACHABLES.  It literally just hit me, like a lightning bolt! So there I have it, my fabulous break through who maybe no one else will get this, but that's so perfectly ok.  Because I do, and that matters!

The UNCOACH~ABLES, your blue collar worker, just making ends meet.  Exhausted, defeated, and struggling who sees no light at the end of the tunnel.  Your single mom, living on welfare.  The introvert who quietly sits back and blends in with the wall paper, too scared to challenge themselves to reach for a higher goal.  The person who occasionally suffers mild bouts of depression, S.A.D. or simply low energy and can't seem to muster the energy to get done what needs to, so that they can improve their lives.  How about the un-employed soul who has been told at the local career center, a job is better than no job! Really?! What kind of defeating, dis-empowering advice is that?  What about the middle aged divorced mom, who is now an empty nester, completely alone and starting over, on all levels?  Financially, mentally, emotionally and for the first time ever, independently.  The college drop out, who has bounced from job to job never finding the perfect fit.  Your 40 something gypsy, who takes whatever job comes their way to pay the bills, and is barely scraping by. 

Financial, Educational, or Emotional levels I think are poor gauges for determining who is Coachable.  My personal mission is to create a space where those are not my gauges for helping other's to improve the qualities of their lives. It's about offering my services, listening to what they desire, creating an unconditional support system, and helping them to learn new skills and tools that will dramatically improve the quality of their lives, shining a light, so they can get out of that black hole they have sunk into.

Please excuse typos, grammar, run on sentences etc.  Because for me the content is more important than the rest of it. I know presentation, presentation and so on.  Bringing me back to right isn't always easy. I do not want to be a coach to get rich.  Nor do I want to be known for my perfect presentation, marketing skills, and smooth, tech savvy website.  I want to reach out and help, because after years of not having support from my own extremely dysfunctional, crazy family I have had to learn to stand on my own two feet, and believe in me alone. It's been a long and lonely road, one I do not feel anyone should have to live through. I want to give support because it's important, it makes people believe in themselves.

So on that note, I will wrap up my little ramblings for the week with a question for everyone to ponder.

Do you think that folks from all walks of life are Coachable, if they are ready to make a change? Depressed, broke, blue collar ass busters, introverted wall papers (like me), and mid-life uneducated, divorced, empty nesters alike. Shouldn't everyone be given an opportunity to create change?

Thanks for reading my rather lengthy struggle with right doesn't equal easy blog.

I would love input, thoughts, ideas, criticism, or anything else you would like to express.  Hope everyone has a delightful weekend!

~Kindness & Hugs
Shelley
10 Comments
Erin Waterman link
11/14/2013 07:08:17 am

Halloo there fellow aged one in the sea of 20 to 30-something LYL'ers. : ) Uncoachables - BRILLIANT and apropos (however you spell that) for today's ever increasing economic disparity. How about this? I'll defy a few categories for you. I'm a college-educated divorced single parent over-the-hill FT self-employed super-woman living on welfare and house sharing who'd rather be out bushwhacking through a forest trail alternating with writing poetry than pounding on a computer keyboard every day. But sadly bushwhacking and poetry don't keep kiddo in sports and music lessons.

Reply
Shelley
12/6/2013 09:31:48 pm

Hi Erin..

Still working on trying to figure out how this whole blog thing works, so sorry for not replying sooner!

Hope your Thanksgiving was peaceful and filled with lots of love!

Thanks for reading and loved your comment! The humor in which we must look at life and keep laughing is what pulls us through the grind...Thanks for putting a smile on my face and chuckle in belly!

OH MY...If I could spend the day "bush hogging and haying fields all day..I'd be right there! But yup that doesn't quite pay my bills either.

Congrats on being self employed SUPER MOM. That is huge, even if you have to sometimes get help from other resources you are paving the way for better things to come.

When you speak of bushwhacking, what would you do exactly? Where? Would love to hear more about your adventures...

Thanks for reading, and taking the time to post. I truly appreciate your inspiration, and loved your humor!!!

((HUGZ))
Shelley

Reply
wesley link
11/14/2013 07:12:43 am

Hi Shelley.

Great to see you in the LYL Guild group - and you're never too old! :)

I've had that 'OMG feeling' too reading some of the blogs. I feel a little bit cheeky sometimes, because I'm just kicking about putting posts out.

Do I think folks from all walks of life are coach-able: my unqualified opinion is yes. It has to be at the right point in their life for them though. You can take a horse to water .... as they say.

Good luck with the blog.

Reply
Shelley
12/6/2013 09:36:18 pm

Hey Wesley..

Totally agree. Not everyone will be in the right place, time etc for coaching. It's like most things, you have to be in a place where you are open minded to trying something different, or your at the end of your wits and must try something different. Either way, you have to be willing to try something different. Branch out beyond that comfort zone, and see what happens.

I have always loved writing, but this is the first blog I have put out there for the world to see quite so visually...It's been a little nerve wracking to say the least. Then again it goes back to trying new things. And getting over my own insecurities and fears.!

So glad that we are all in this together, what a great group of supportive, brilliant writers!!

Can't wait to read more from you! Thanks so much Wesley...:)

((HUGZ))
Shelley

Reply
Emma link
11/14/2013 07:51:56 am

LOVE the Uncoachables. This is a great post, please write more like this.

Reply
Shelley
12/21/2013 10:57:53 pm

Thanks Emma....

I do believe that this is what I am suppose to be doing, it's just the marketing, getting the word out there and keeping it affordable yet also making people want to stretch for more. If you don't put something into it, then you certainly are more likely to quit or not taking it seriously..

Balance...That fine line! Thanks so much for reading!

Reply
Vanessa link
11/14/2013 12:30:49 pm

Shelly- sounds like you found your calling. :)

Reply
Shelley
12/21/2013 11:00:16 pm

Thank you for reading my blog!! I think it is a perfect fit for me, like I said above...Finding the balance and way to market. Not my strong suit. But I am sure the more I keep working through things, the stronger my message will get. And more clearly defined!

Reply
Del link
11/16/2013 09:13:42 am

Hi Shelley, I am also an over the hill LYL member (44) and I agree that there does seem to be far too much emphasis on the already privileged demographic when it comes to coaching, self help books and online resources. I wonder whether it is because educated professionals as a group are more interested in self development, are more likely to read in order to gain information, and have the money to spend on these courses, books and coaching. This is where video may be your secret weapon - it cuts across all demographics (think about Oprah's universal appeal).

Reply
Shelley
12/21/2013 11:03:05 pm

Hi Del...

Thanks so much for reading and commenting! I agree too, that it seems that people are targeting those with financial, educational and privilege so I am trying my darnedest to break through that barrier! Interesting idea with the video...I have absolutely no experience at all with video, but certainly could be interesting to play around with. Something I will think about for the future!

Hope you have a wonderful holiday season!!

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