it didn't develop over night, the mess, the clutter, the dust or the lack of resolve. they seem to build quietly, little by little, one small stack at a time.
dishes i no longer used, clothes that not only didn't fit, but the style was horrible. knick knacks christmas gifts passed. childrens homework that for some reason had a special place in my heart at that moment. every disney vhs tape you could possibly want. cd's i couldn't even re-call a song by the artist. hobbies i started, set aside with the best of intentions to get back to them...scrap booking, stamping, glass bead making, rock tumbling (i will get back to that)....you get the point.
that was just the small tip of the iceberg. this was just a small portion of my mid-life, now i'm divorced...holy shit, how did i accumulate this much baggage. no really, when did this happen? and what the heck am i suppose to do with it all now? is it really practical, essential, benefiting me in any way shape or form to hang onto all this stuff from my past 20+ years? do i have the strength emotionally to finally let it all go?
this was my mixed emotional state 7 or so years ago, when the process of my marriage unraveled, and so all my accumulations of that period in my life, i started to question how much, if any value did any of it really have or would have in my new life? questions, questions...and a whole lot of tears.
over the last 7 years i have slowly gone through, discarded, made choices and let go painfully what i needed to in order to create space for better opportunities, new possibilities and to create space for my soul to blossom, grow, learn and choose who i really am NOW. i'm different than the person who was married for 20 years. that person stopped settling and fighting for what she believed in, and simply let all the fight go...i just am. i believe what i want, what's important to me, but i don't fight about it, or try to convince other's i'm right, or change anyone else's opinion. i simply have chosen to live my life by my own beliefs, what i value and what's important to my soul.
the relationships i have chosen to close because much like the physical clutter that i had in my life, i also had many relationships that were toxic, and were internally not benefiting my well being. i stopped with the guilt, and as hard as it may be to understand, i had to give myself the power to choose that i didn't have to maintain any relationship that was not in my best interest. it really is a very simple way to think about it. people will call you cold, heartless, selfish, mean, cruel the list goes on and on....
but what it comes down to, is we each are responsible for our own well being. if someone is taking and draining every ounce of energy from you every time you are near them...it's time to CHOOSE to relinquish that relationship. if someone is mentally, physically, verbally or financially abusing you or taking advantage of you, again it's time again to choose to separate yourself from what is hurting you. it's not cold, or selfish to take care of yourself. i expect those that i love to do the same. if i am not giving them what they need or expect, i would totally expect them to bring it to my attention, give me a chance to remedy the situation or relinquish. choice! it's about choice.
we all have choices. the choices we make today, what we choose to hang on to, let go, and play parts in our lives are the same choices that will either open doors of possibilities or close ourselves to them. these sound choices we make for ourselves are also the example we set for others. we are showing those around us how we would like to be treated, and how we will treat others.
the basis for amazing change, growth, success, moving forward all starts with building a strong healthy foundation. without a strong foundation the ability to succeed, move forward heal, grow, learn and bloom will be hindered. the process will be more of a struggle. the daily clutter will eventually suffocate your soul from blossoming!
first step to a solid foundation:
clear the clutter, so your soul has room to bloom
after that your well will begin to re-fill with new and wonderful opportunities that will fit this opened up, new, blooming life you are re-potting...