Courage starts with showing up

Courage is the strength to keep going, when your mind is asking why?

Courage for me, comes from my heart. It often doesn't listen to what my head is saying. And if there is a conflict between the two, it usually sends me a loud, clear message to my gut that I'm not listening closely.

My belly ache is the tell tale sign, that I should stop listening to my head, sit quietly and hear my heart out. Really listen to what it wants. And most importantly why it wants, what it does.

I have found asking why to questions, is probably one of the most effective tools to keep me motivated. Getting to the why, gives me a purpose, a reason, a clear defining answer to why we all continue on the paths we are choosing. Whether good or bad.

Today I asked why I continue to blog? I've done several blogs over the years, and more or less they became a sounding board for my own personal thoughts, endeavors, dreams and rants. Honestly, no one really paid any attention to them, they didn't win awards, or get thousands of subscribers. In fact, if you were to ask my family and even close friends, most of them probably didn't even realize I had a blog and was writing daily. Yes, they know I love to write. But didn't realize I was actually trying to put myself, writing and me, out there.

As technology would have it, blogs have progressed into a movement all their own. They are a way to reach many folks, engage with groups of like minded people, who share a common theme or interest. Holy moses, who would have thought 10 years ago, you could literally build a whole business based on building a blog! Technology changes fast!

And as most of you know, this blog started out with a great idea, from Scott Dinsmore at Live Your Legend. As a remarkable way to get your blog out there, hold yourself accountable, connect with others, and spread great ideas, and of course win a ticket to the World Domination Summit. Well, the contest is over. The winner has been chosen, congrats to a wonderful artist, friend, and fellow blogger, Alex Mill @ Kindnessville! Would love it if everyone could stop in and say hi to Scott and Alex for the amazing work they are doing! And of course share and spread the love...<3

Before my blog began, I had started taking coaching courses and this blog contest seemed at the time a great kick in the butt to get my website up and going and start the process of building my own business. Time has progressed, 8 months fast forward from the start of my coaching classes and 4+ months of blogging and to be honest I have days when I ask myself why am I continuing?

The gremlin voices kick in and say this is taking too long. I'm overwhelmed. I don't understand how this or that works. I totally hate my job, maybe I should give up this dream and just go get a different job. There is so much to learn, and I'm technology, ADD, challenged. I'm not connecting with any tribe. I'm too introverted to stand out in this sea of awesome, loud, over the top, dancing extroverts. I don't have a college education. I'm horribly lonely some days. (yes, sitting at home for 14 hours some days, writing & working on a website, can bring you to your knees in despair.) It's too hard reaching out and trying to keep connecting. If only I had more money to take other marketing classes, maybe it would get easier to understand. I don't have the time to dedicate 60 hours a week to building a full time business. (We are building a house and I work another job to pay the basic bills.) The voices can sometimes be so noisy, and obnoxious, that I just want to cry myself to sleep.

And then, somewhere, somehow a small, strong, determined, resilient voice speaks up between the gremlins and says "Keep going, because your heart is in the right place, your love for the many who don't have someone to believe in them, they are counting on you, to make this work."

You see, I know what it's like to have no education, no money, and a family who doesn't support anything about you. I wish I didn't. I wish I could call my parents and laugh, and share and love. But after 40 years of wishing, I have finally accepted those wishes will most likely never come true. I also realized that although it would be nice if they did, it's not going to stop me from being the person I know I am inside. A believer in the Under-Dog, the last one picked, the black sheep and the loners. I never grew up with a role model. I didn't grow up wanting to be like my dad or my mom. Quite the opposite. I've spent more time praying to not let me be like them, than probably any other prayer.

Only over the last couple years have I come to the realization, that I truly must become my own best friend, and support whatever needs are important to maintaining my emotional well-being. That those needs come first, above everything and everyone.

Which is the message I want to give to others. That they don't have to stay caught up in the family chaos, drama and pain. That love isn't about staying true to those who hurt you over and over again, just because they call themselves family or friends. That taking care of you, should be priority number 1 and if your truly loved by your loved ones they will respect that. It's ok, to break ties with people who don't support and make you feel good about yourself. It's perfectly alright to say no when you don't feel in your heart you should do something. Healthy people have healthy boundaries and respectful people don't push them.

If we want to go further, than healthy boundaries, let's talk dreams. Why follow in the footsteps of people who have never had the courage to dream big? Why go down the same path as your family/friends/co-workers who are miserable, barely getting by, struggle to get up every day, become depressed because there seems to be no way out, and still keep doing the same thing over and over again, really thinking this kind of thinking will get different results..Hmmm.

My point in all this....

I'm scared. No, I'm petrified. But more than any of that, I know how painful, scary and lonely it is to want to change your life, dream scary big, reach beyond the stars and have no one to back you! When you don't have role models, mentors, super stars that you look up to, you kinda wonder, What do I do next? And there is no one to ask. It's frightful. I still live it. Daily. But it doesn't stop me from going forward, because I realize that there are so many bright, gosh darn amazing, brilliant, super heros out there just waiting for someone to give them the ok, to reach further.

So today, maybe we can all reach out to the black sheep, the loner, the quiet introvert, the last one picked and just say hi, How are you? It's hard for them to keep putting themselves out there, and still feel alone. Sometimes it's just nice for someone to reach back.

With all the love in my heart, I'm pushing on for those that don't have someone in their corner, who feel alone, who have no idea of what's next to help them start to create dreams, build healthy boundaries, learn to love themselves first, embrace uncertainty with a sense of adventure rather than anxiety, and to become powerful in their own right. Because we all deserve to feel this way!

Thanks as always for reading.
Would love any and all comments!
And if you could share the love it is greatly appreciated!

As of now I am offering what I like to call Pay It Forward Coaching.
It goes like this. FREE coaching for 4 sessions. All you have to do is forward the same offer to 5 other individuals you feel may benefit from coaching but don't have the financial means to pay, and we will continue paying it forward! When your 4 sessions are complete, I ask that you write a brief testimonial of your sessions, and would love for you to do a guest post on my blog. Simple as pie. (I think that's how the quote goes.)

Hope everyone is having a dynamic weekend!
((HUGZ))
Shelley