over-flowing heart + risk = anxiety ridden (tips to ditch it)

Number 10.  Lucky number 10.

Yup, that's what number this blog post is. There are 9 other posts sitting in my save to draft file.

Insane, probably.

Why?

Because the last week have thrown me off my track. Life does what it's going to do and sometimes the best we can do, is go with the flow and not fight it!

It's so ridiculously not funny, how you can be blooming, overflowing, dreaming, writing, scribbling, and doodling out your plans, dreams, visions, business model, finances, and all the other marvelous ideas you have rolling around in your heart, then you get up, show up and NOTHING!

Hours later....

Still NOTHING!

10th blog posting, maybe something.

Something that goes like this:

When you start to dream bigger. Believe and have faith in yourself more. A shift starts to take place.

A shift that begins with the most anxious, nauseating, upset feeling you could have way down in the pit of your stomach. Different from the flu..Trust me you will feel the stomach muscles tightening as if you just did 100 sit-ups.

That shift, the nausea, the aching muscles.... A sign your stretching way beyond your comfort zone! It's good thing, trust me!

Ha. That's what I have been telling myself for the last two days. Stretching is good. Ache is good. Anxiety means I'm pushing myself, scared shitless, and still pushing. All is good.

But that also meant that I was coming up to huge blocks of resistance. Writing 10 blog posts, 9 of them unsuccessful is resistance working over time!

In this moment, I decided I was going to write it out. What I am feeling? How it's effecting me at this moment? Why am I so petrified?

More importantly: How can I look at these feelings/emotions and write myself out a plan of action, so that they don't continue to wreak havoc on my progress towards my goals?

So let's look at the questions, see what conclusions I can come up with:

What am I feeling? Overwhelm, uncertainty, fear, nervousness, frustration, loneliness, and exhaustion.

How are these negative emotions effecting me? Inability to focus fully on one thing at a time. Not being able to create a clear plan of what my next step is. Becoming so paralyzed with fear, nervousness, uncertainty that I go for long bouts with getting absolutely nothing done. My sleep patterns are messed up, because of feeling emotionally drained, so I will actually nap during the middle of the day. Further messing up those sleep patterns, creating more exhaustion. And being the determined, resilient soul I am, I keep pounding away, hour after hour, day after day. Eventually you find yourself feeling lonely, and isolated.

Why am I feeling all of these crazy mixed emotions that are absolutely paralyzing every brain cell in my head, making my stomach muscles tighten til the ache, and my heart pound so fast I can feel it when I put my hand to my chest? Simply because I am taking risks. Risks with no guarantee. The best guarantee I can give my fears is the hard work, drive, actions, and push and bust through them. Is it enough? Pushing through uncertainty is probably one of the toughest things anyone will do.

One of the tools I use in my own coaching, is to write through your fears. Get to know them, up close and personal.  Really dig deep, understand them, analyze them, and see them for what they are. If you do that you will put a vast majority of them to rest by realizing that they are living and growing in your head. Most of what you fear, hasn't even begun to happen yet. Realizing that you aren't at that bridge, why begin crossing it? Those fears are the ones that are easier to dismantle. They are not real! They are made up stories and what if's that you grow by continuing to dwell on them. Living in your own head. It's amazing what our brains will concoct to make us feel safe.

Another key point: Fears are not something to be hated, frustrated and angered by. They are in place for one reason only, to keep you in a place of safety. Now granted that place of safety, may not be the best place for you. There may be brighter horizons for you if your fear could simply see that.  Although you are safe right where you are, your not happy in that space. Fear isn't based on happiness, it's based on safety. It doesn't recognize between happy and not happy. But it does recognize between risk/unsafe and comfort/safe. So your fear isn't necessarily the enemy, so much as it is way to overprotective. It will stunt your growth and ability to reach for brighter horizons, all in the name of protection from the gremlins that dance in your head, and concoct crazy notions of stories that haven't even blossomed yet.

That said, How can I (you) use this wonderful knowledge to our fullest potential and open more doors of possibilities?

*These are my personal ground rules for when I see fear taking over, everyone has their own, and I would welcome any other helpful tips. Because at one point or another we all face these adorable little gremlins that just want to be helpful, but really can be quite hindering. So sharing other tips, ideas will help many others in the long run!

*If in doubt, write it out! (Which I am doing openly, scary, but necessary!)

*When you see fear creeping in, step back and take 10 slow deep breaths. Tell yourself, "I've got this." Repeat over and over until it sinks into your heart and soul.

*Create an emergency list of friends you can contact for a quick "perk me up" talk. Pick up the phone!

*If your really in overload mode, stop doing what your doing. Move onto another project and come back to that one later in the day, or even the next day.

*Go for a brisk walk. Just 10 minutes. 5 minutes one way, and come home. It's great for clearing your head, changing the scenery, and shifting your energy towards nature, which in itself is a soul clearer.

*When overwhelm is your middle name. Pick a project. Create a NEXT step, and give yourself a certain amount of time to just work on that. Close out Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, E-mail, Cell phone, You-tube, and any other distractions going on around you and focus your attention dilerabitly on that one step you are working on. We are not talking the whole project, we are talking the next step.     
    *ex. wanting to launch an e-course
        first step, decide your topic. explore options, do some research, check out other markets. it's not the whole project today! just step one.

        step two, create an outline of your topic

        step three, create the header with the name of your e-course

        you get the gist! one step at a time! NO overload!


*Super important ~ Finding a few close tribe members who can let you talk out loud, ramble, take notes, record yourself if needed. Just talk through it, let if flow out of you and again, set it aside. Take a break, clear your mind and come back. Talking out loud is a really very helpful way to hear your thoughts. Sometimes I know in my ADD brain, that when my thoughts stay in my own head, they get jumbled, and one of the ways I work through them, is in an OUT-LOUD process. Really hearing my words and thoughts.

*Do a mundane task. Rake leaves, do dishes, fold laundry, sweep the floor, and be fully engaged in that process. Every time your mind wanders practice bring your thoughts back to the slippery soap, warm water, sound of the squeaky clean glass. Doing this often in your daily tasks will promote focus, and a sense of quiet, calm in your brain.

*How's your space? Does it feel cheery? Bright? Engaging? Cluttered? Clean & Organized? Ready for work? Sometimes part of my problem in my own head, is my own surroundings. Too much physical stuff crowding my space will interfere with my ability to stay clear and focused. Be aware of your physical and emotional surroundings, and if it's feeling suffocating and out of control, don't hesitate to take some time to clean, organize, brighten, let go, get rid of...WHATEVER is creating clutter in your life and not allowing you to stay on track.

*Personal (emotional) Clutter: Sometimes more challenging, but I can totally vouch that if you don't take control over your own surroundings, others will. Don't allow others to control your life with guilt and fear. There life is their life, YOURS is YOURS. Kindly let the folks you love know this. Giving them a heads up that phone is going off, you will not be available is a perfectly nice way to set up healthy boundaries from those who do not want to respect your need to get YOUR stuff done.

Phewwwwwww!

Do you have any idea how much awesomely friggen better I feel getting this out?! Relief, no stomach ache, still slightly tired, but that's my general low energy body..You learn to work with it!

This blog post is point proven that you can work through.........STUCK!   

Stuck is a total bummer and will steal your energy, your thunder, and dreams if you aren't resilient and keep chipping away at the bricks one little hit at a time.

Would love thoughts, ideas, tips, comments and always positive criticism welcome!

XO   
Shelley

source of photo:
http://slitwristsandbrokenhearts.tumblr.com/post/16504798414/if-youre-feeling-stressed-or-overwhelmed-take-a